Category: Passionate Holiness

Posted on

Rev. Bourgeois offers apology to women barred from priesthood in Catholic Church

By Wes Woods

The Rev. Roy Bourgeois, who has been criticized by the Catholic Church for his support of women’s ordination, discussed his views Thursday night at Claremont Graduate University.
“I really want to begin with an apology,” Bourgeois said during a panel discussion.

“To all the women in the Catholic Church and also I think in society for taking so long to see this injustice. To see the root of our church’s teaching all about sexism.

“No excuses, I was asleep, I think, for many years and one of the many participating in what we call prejudice. I’ve come to see after much reflection that in life prejudice is our greatest enemy. We learn prejudice. And we can unlearn it.”

Bourgeois was part of a group that also featured Gina Messina-Dysert, visiting assistant professor in the department of Theological Studies at Loyola Marymount University; Rosemary Radford Ruether, visiting professor of religion; and Jane Via of the Roman Catholic Womenpriests.

Via said she agreed with the sentiment expressed by Ruether that the Catholic Church was much larger than the Vatican, which has condemned the idea of women being ordained.

“The Vatican is a tiny, tiny group of very powerful elderly, mostly Caucasian males,” Via said.

“That’s who they are. But the power they exert, over women and children, especially in non-industrialized societies worldwide is enormous. Women will never be able to push their way into that power structure without becoming ordained first,” she said.

Via said she will not walk away from the Catholic Church despite her disagreements.

“My personal attitudes about that are that I am intelligent, articulate, I’m well-educated and if every voice like mine leaves the Catholic Church there will be no one left to speak for women,” she said.

The packed audience inside the Albrecht Auditorium cheered Via’s comment.

Bourgeois said the issue of women’s ordination was an important one.
“Who are we as men to say to women our call is authentic but your call is not?” Bourgeois said.

“Who are we as men to reject God’s call to women to the priesthood? What arrogance. And what I saw in our church’s teaching at its very root was that sin of sexism. And as we all know, sexism, like racism, like homophobia and all those other forms of discrimination is wrong. It’s wrong,” Bourgeois said.

He said such a rule is an injustice against the church.

“And of course an injustice against our loving God who calls both men and women into the priesthood,” Bourgeois said.

“What do we do? You and I when we see an injustice with such clarity. What we do know is silence is the voice of complicity. In order to sleep at night, I had to break my silence.”

Church teaching holds that the priesthood is reserved for men, since Christ chose only men as his apostles. Proponents of women’s ordination say there is no theological basis for excluding women from the priesthood, that there is evidence of women priests in the early church and that the Vatican’s ban is purely sexist.

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

Maryland Catholic Priest Breaks With Church To Urge Marriage Equality

At Baltimore’s St. Vincent de Paul Church, Rev. Richard T. Lawrence read the archbishop’s statement urging a vote against the marriage bill referendum. He then told his parishioners why the archbishop was wrong.

A Maryland priest bucked the Vatican — and his own archbishop — Sunday by telling his parishioners that he sees a future in which the Roman Catholic Church could recognize “the total, exclusive and permanent union of gay and lesbian couples as part of the sacrament of matrimony.”

The Rev. Richard T. Lawrence drew a quick response from the local Catholic hierarchy. Baltimore Archbishop William E. Lori asked that a copy of Rev. Richard T. Lawrence’s homily that had been posted online at the church’s website be removed because it ran counter to Catholic Church teaching on the subject. Lawrence complied, Lawrence’s pastoral associate, Chris McCullough, told BuzzFeed on Thursday.

Lawrence acknowledged in his sermon that the sea change he predicted won’t happen in the near future, but in the meantime he told parishoners at Baltimore’s St. Vincent de Paul Church on Sunday that “even if we do not believe that gay marriage ever could or should be allowed in the church, we could live with a provision that allows civil marriage of gay and lesbian couples.”

Lawrence’s striking opposition to the Catholic Church’s strong teaching against the recognition of same-sex couples’ marriages, reported first in the National Catholic Reporter, was, in and of itself, unexpected in light of the dogmatic path set by Pope Benedict XVI.

What made Lawrence’s presentation of his view more remarkable was that it was preceded by his reading the letter written by Lori, who as archbishop oversees Lawrence, urging the congregation of the importance of opposing the referendum in Maryland on Nov. 6 over the marriage equality bill passed and signed into law earlier this year. Lori told all parishioners in the letter, read by Lawrence, that they faced “the momentous choice of whether to maintain marriage as the union of one man and one woman in Maryland, or to irrevocably dismantle our state’s legal recognition of the most basic unit of our society — the family unit of mother, father and child.”

Lawrence, after finishing the archbishop’s letter, then told the congregation of his views and asked them, “[C]ould not civil law be allowed to progress where church law cannot go, at least not yet? Personally, I believe that it can and that it should.”

He concluded: “So there you have it: the official teaching of the church and my personal reflections.”
According to the Catholic Reporter’s Arthur Jones, the parishioners gave Lawrence a standing ovation.

Lawrence’s move fits with his biography on the church’s website, which notes that he has been “active in social justice ministries all his life, starting with the Civil Rights movement in the [1960s] and the Peace movement in the [1970s], and is today one of the leaders in the Inclusive Housing movement.”

Moreover, on Thursday, Chris McCullough, the pastoral associate at St. Vincent de Paul Church told BuzzFeed that, although the homily had been taken down from the church’s website, the Catholic Reporter article provided “a very solid, essential synopsis of the homily.”

Of the archbishop’s response, McCullough said, “We knew there would be repercussions.” He added, “I think it’s gracious that there wasn’t further punitive action taken.”

McCullough said, despite the pushback from the archbishop, Lawrence gave the homily because he wanted parishioners to know “there are other opinions” and “to keep [those opinions] in dialogue.”

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

Grand Forks woman to demonstrate against bishop’s election message

Kate Kenna, a lifelong Catholic, career social worker and political progressive in Grand Forks, has mounted a reaction to news of a North Dakota bishop’s call to the faithful concerning voting.

A letter from Bishop David Kagan of Bismarck is to be read Sunday from all the Catholic pulpits in the state urging them to not support abortion, stem-cell research or same-sex marriage when voting.

Kenna bought a “City Briefs” ad in the Herald with a short message: “The bishop is bringing politics to church. Please wear a political button to Mass on Sunday to support the candidate of your choice.”

It began running Thursday online.

Kenna also called Joel Heitkamp at KFGO radio in Fargo, who talked about it Thursday on the air.

And Kenna has organized a sort of demonstration Sunday at her own parish, Holy Family. She and others, including her friend Thomasine Heitkamp, will be standing with others outside the church to show their disagreement with the bishop. The Heitkamps are siblings of Democratic Senate candidate Heidi Heitkamp.

Democrats upset

Kagan was appointed bishop in Bismarck in November and named apostolic administrator of the Fargo diocese this summer until a replacement bishop is announced.

It came to light the past week that Kagan sent a letter to all priests in the state to be read Sunday.

The bishop declined to release the letter pending its being read Sunday in churches. But he announced Thursday he will discuss the letter at 9 a.m. Tuesday on Real Presence Radio at 1370 AM in Grand Forks and 1280 AM in Fargo.

State Sen. Tim Mathern, D-Fargo, released the text of the letter and criticized it in a Forum Communications story Wednesday, saying it went over the line in directing Catholics how to vote.

Although Kagan’s letter does not mention parties or candidates by name, Mathern said it clearly was pointed at Democrats because of the party’s known support for the issues Kagan mentioned.

Plus, Mathern said the phrase used by Kagan telling Catholics not to vote for “the most likable” candidate appears to echo Republican ads referring to Heidi Heitkamp.

Friend of Heitkamps

Kenna said that’s how she sees it, too, especially as a longtime close friend of Thomasine and Heidi Heitkamp.

Catholics are taught to follow their own conscience, she said.

“I think I have a perfectly formed conscience,” said Kenna, who credits growing up going to St. Michael’s Elementary School and St. James High School in Grand Forks. That’s led her to devote her life to social work and to support the Democratic party because she sees it as caring for people.

“We can’t just look at being pro-life as just being pro-delivery,” Kenna said. “Being pro-life means all of life and that means people who are here, also.”

The church is a place where people of all political persuasions should feel welcome and be united in faith, not in politics, she said.

Church response

Christopher Dodson, executive director of the North Dakota Catholic Conference, a public policy and lobbying effort of the two dioceses in the state, agrees that partisan politics doesn’t belong in church. Nor does Bishop Kagan, who does not refer to any individuals or parties in his letter, Dodson said.

“There’s nothing new in the letter, it’s all Catholic teaching on how to form one’s conscience,” Dodson. His office has been sending similar messages to parishes in the state regularly since about Labor Day, he said.

The bishop’s reference to not voting for someone because they are “likable” reflects long-held Catholic teaching that the faithful should look at deeper issues than either pocketbook issues or a person’s personality, Dodson said. It’s not about Heitkamp or anyone in particular, he said.

“It’s not about influencing elections, it’s about the care of souls,” Dodson said. That’s why the bishop has been reluctant to discuss his letter before parishioners hear it themselves in church, not in a partisan debate on radio or television, Dodson said.

“People who are really involved in partisan politics get hyper-partisan around election time and everything they see gets interpreted through those partisan lenses,” he said. “I think parishioners will be pleasantly surprised when they finally hear the letter and see that it doesn’t deal with partisan politics.”

Faith and politics

Kenna long has taken her faith and her politics seriously.

In the fall of 1968 at the height of the Vietnam War, a woman regularly stood across the street from St. James High School, holding a sign protesting the war, Kenna remembers. “She wasn’t allowed to come on the school grounds.”

A junior, Kenna invited the woman to speak to her current events class.

“I got suspended for three days,” she said with a laugh.

Now she feels she must react to the message from the bishop that she might be voting the wrong way.

“I think the bishop of Bismarck has brought this to a new level where he is bringing politics into church and as a responsible voter I have to say that’s wrong, and how do I respond that?” she said.

“I could stand up and walk out of church (while the letter is read) but I think that would be disrespectful to our priest,” she said.

Instead, she and others plan to stand outside Holy Family during Masses on Sunday.

Although she will wear a Heitkamp button, it’s not about campaigning, she said, adding she hopes many wear buttons of all sorts.

“I don’t think it’s a protest; I think it’s just an awareness-building exercise,” she said. “I just want people to examine their consciences and then vote the way they feel is consistent with their beliefs. I don’t want to be told that in church.”

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

LA priest on leave for advocating gay marriage

Archbishop Jose H. Gomez of Los Angeles has placed Father Joseph Palacios on leave from ministry because of his promotion of same-sex “marriage.”

Tod Tamberg, director of media relations for the Los Angeles archdiocese, confirmed to CNA Sept. 20 that Fr. Palacios was put on inactive leave in June.

Because of the mutually agreed upon leave, he is unable to say Mass or distribute the sacraments, may not wear a Roman collar, and cannot in any way present himself as a priest in public.

Fr. Palacios is a founding member of Catholics for Equality, a group which advocates for same-sex “marriage” and other social benefits for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender individuals.

He has identified himself as “a gay man and a celibate gay priest.”

According to the National Catholic Register, he will be on inactive leave as long as he remains politically active. In a Sept. 10 interview with the paper, he said he does not present himself as a priest when promoting same-sex “marriage.”

However, in a Feb. 2011 panel discussion called “Same Sex Marriage in the United States: Where We Are as a Nation,” hosted by the Woodrow Wilson School at Princeton University, he appeared in a priestly collar and was introduced as “Father Joseph Palacios.”

During the event, he said that the Washington, D.C.-based Catholics for Equality are trying to portray support for same-sex “marriage” as a pro-life position, adding that “pro-life means pro-gay.”

Cardinal Donald Wuerl, archbishop of Washington, has publicly stated that the organization is not legitimately Catholic and Archbishop Timothy Broglio of the military archdiocese has made the same judgment.

Fr. Palacios is a priest of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, but has identified himself as an ex-Jesuit to the Cardinal Newman Society and elsewhere. He was ordained for the archdiocese of Los Angeles in 1987. He then entered the Jesuit novitiate in 1992, but left the Society in October 2004 without having pronounced final vows, according to the California Province of the Society of Jesus.

“Apparently, he was transitioning into the Society of Jesus at that time,” Tamberg said.

“It appears that he did not profess final vows in the Jesuit Community and remained (a) priest of the Archdiocese of Los Angeles,” the archdiocesan spokesman added.

Fr. Palacios is not identifiable as a priest on the Catholic for Equality’s website. He is described only as “Dr.” He holds a Ph.D in sociology from University of California Berkeley and attended St. John’s Seminary in Camarillo, Calif. He was ordained for the archdiocese of Los Angeles in 1987.

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

Rev. Stan Sloan has dedicated his life to serving his fellow men

Stan Sloan is not your ordinary Reverend. As a former priest of the Diocese, he has dedicated his life to serving his fellow men, fallen in love, was out during his priesthood, stood up and since departed from the Roman Catholic Church, and even scarier assimilated back into the dating scene after his priesthood. What matters to Sloan is service and perspective – both, which are for and from the people he has helped and continues to help throughout his career.

Currently, as Chicago House and Social Service Agency’s CEO, Sloan has taken his passion for service and his perspective from his days at St. Leonard’s House where he aided former prisoners and homeless people and instilled it back into the community. With exciting, new endeavors with Sweet Miss Givings Bakery, the development of a TransLife Center, as well as events that include Dance for Life, an all-out dance party, at the Park West on September 15 and the charity’s annual speaker series featuring fashion designer Kenneth Cole in November, Sloan has made Chicago House his new Diocese.

TC: (Terrence Chappell) As the longest running CEO of Chicago House and Social Service Agency, it could be argued that you are Chicago House. Who were you before Chicago House?

SS: (The Rev. Stan Sloan) I was a Catholic priest in the Diocese of Tulsa, Oklahoma up until 1995. In 95′ I just decided that I couldn’t do that anymore. I liked what I was doing and I liked the people I was working with, but I couldn’t stand working for the Roman Catholic institution or the hierarchy.

TC: What was the turning point that moved you to transition out of the Roman Catholic Church?

SS: As gay men we under sell this a lot; being gay is so much more about whom you have sex with. I mean even if you’re a celibate gay man, your gay friendships are still important to you. So, if I had a Friday night off, I would go out with my gay friends – not to gay bars because I knew that was crossing the line, but I would go out to dinner with them. Again, I was not breaking any vows. So, the bishop of Tulsa called me in and said that you’re fixing with the gay community. I said yes, but I’m being celibate and that we’re all God’s people. He said it’s one thing to minister to them but it’s another to be friends with them.

TC: Wow. How did that make you feel?

SS: Yea. It’s horrible. It’s okay to minister to them but to not befriend them? You don’t befriend people when you’re actually contributing to the cause let alone their [Roman Catholic Church] stance on birth control. If it sounds like I’m bitter and angry, it’s because I am.

TC: What do you do with all that bitterness and anger?

SS: I exercise like a mad man. I love my work. I’ve got good friends.

TC: However, you didn’t always feel this way. What was it that attracted you to the priesthood?

SS: I always had a natural prayer life growing up as a child. My parents were devout Catholics, and I enjoyed going to daily mass. It was always just a natural fit for me. I actually came out and had a boyfriend before I was a priest.

TC: Oh really? How did that work out?

SS: When I was in seminary I was celibate. So, as I went through the boards to start going into seminary, they asked me if I was gay and I said yes. At the time it was much more permissive than it is now. The church has gone backwards. However, I said if I do this I’ll be celibate.

TC: How did your boyfriend at the time react to you deciding to become a priest?

SS: I told him at the time, Jimmy this is something I have to try and that chances are that I won’t like it and I will be back. We were both kids at the time – we were like 23. He told me if I do this, you do this and when you come back, I won’t be here. So, we broke up, and I went.

TC: But then you quit the Catholic Church.

SS: Yup and never once did I think that I made the wrong decision. It was hard. You grieve it like you grieve a divorce. But, I was lucky that I happen to pick the Episcopal Church as my next step. We just okayed doing gay marriages, so the Episcopal Church is already ahead. I just feel like in the idea world, the Churches or religion in general should lead the rest of the world on social justice issues. However, instead you have ridiculous groups who do just the opposite. I’m very proud to be a part of denomination that is at the forefront of equality, sexual equality, and gender nonconforming issues.

TC: And then you transitioned over to serving and helping homeless people.

SS: Yes. Serving homeless people really puts perspective around your life and whatever is getting you down. You get to see people who have every reason to not have any hope but they do and they are excited about moving forward with their lives. Every day I get to make a difference.

TC: What kind of perspective did that give you at the time?

SS: I was just this naïve, white kid who grew up in Texas in middle-class America. I remember my first day at St. Leonard’s. I was working with all ex-offenders who just got out of prison. I was afraid of these guys. I’ve never been around a population like this. So, I went in and I had to talk to these guys. I started talking to them and I’m thinking to myself I’ve got two master’s degrees and so on. But then I realized that they were way more afraid of me then I was of them. For instance, I’m a part of the world they want to break into – mainstream society.

TC: How did this perspective help you at Chicago House?

SS: Well one of the things Chicago House gets to do on a daily basis is that we get to take our donors and show them the lives of our residents. I invite people all the time to come. It’s great because different people from different factions of our society can meet. We’re not as different as we think we are.

TC: Is there a story of a particular resident or someone that you have helped that stands out?

SS: One of my first days at St. Leonard’s House, I met a guy who I was working one on one with – helping him with his resume and stuff like that. It was like a light bolt when I was working with this guy; this guy’s IQ is off the charts. This guy is way smarter than I am. We stayed in touch and he did a good job while he was at St. Leonard’s House. He wanted to start up his own computer business. I gave him some money to help him get it started. Now, he owns his own computer business and has a home in Lake Forest. Mind you at the time he was just out of prison and would’ve been homeless if he wasn’t staying at St. Leonard’s House.

TC: When you started at Chicago House, you were still a priest in good standing but no longer a part of the Diocese. So, that means you could start dating. How was that?

SS: I didn’t remember from being 23 of how horrible dating was but I learned very quickly it’s a horrible process (laughs). I remember I had this over-the-top romantic idea that I would fall in love with the right one and wouldn’t have to date very much. Of course that’s not true, that’s not how life works.

TC: How was your “first” date?

SS: I signed up with The Smelts for no other reason because I decided that I wanted to date and that I need to find a husband. There was an adorable guy named Seth Hoff, who is still here in town, and I saw him and I thought he was so hot. So, I just found out his name and I just cold called him. I told him I was at swim practice today and that I saw him and asked him out to dinner. He said that I was the guy with no body fat. He said yes and we went on a few dates. I mean I was insane, so it must have been crazy for him. For instance, we would have fun on the date and instead of saying, “Hey, let’s talk soon,” I’d just say, “Can we get another date down?”

It was a very good, funny introduction into the dating world. (Laughs)

TC: What are some exciting, new developments for Chicago House?

SS: I’m excited to announce that Little Miss Muffet will take on Sweet Miss Giving’s product line. They have licensed our brand name and the internship program will operate out of their factory. Little Miss Muffet will give us a dime off every cookie, off every cupcake, and biscotti they will sell. Right now, we are trying to see how we are going to position ourselves with places like Costco and stuff since they are a national baker and they are already in all those places.

Our other big development is our TransLife Center. It will be in a gracious, old mansion where the first floor will be an emergency drop-in center for trans adults who just need to get off the streets for a day. The upstairs rooms will be built as well. There will be nine bedrooms for transgender men and women who are homeless and who need to get their life together. We will be hiring a full-time career counselor who will be transgender himself or herself who will be helping people with employment. We will have a doctor from Children’s Memorial Hospital who will be putting in weekly hours at the TransLife Center connecting people with care, since there is a huge instance of abuse of transgender people by medical professionals. So, as far as I know it will be the most comprehensive service offered to transgender people. We’re very excited about this.

TC: What do you want the LGBT community as a whole to take from Chicago House’s move in the direction of helping and aiding the trans community?

SS: We’ve made good progress as an LGB community and it’s time to start embracing our transgender brothers and sisters.

TC: What are some upcoming events Chicago House has coming up in the future?

SS: We will be having our One Night Stand event at the Park West on September 15. It will be a dance party. We’ve got all sorts of performers. Keith Elliott, who started Dance for Life and who started the burlesque show for TPAN will be a part of the event, so you know it’s going to be brilliant.

November 2 we’ve got Kenneth Cole coming for our speaker series. Kenneth Cole is the national head of the American Foundation of AIDS Research. So, he’s incredibly knowledgeable and will be a fantastic speaker.

TC: What do you want your legacy to be?

SS: That people’s lives are better because you existed.

To find more information about Chicago House visit www.ChicagoHouse.org.

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

Cardinal Carlo Martini says Church ‘200 years behind’

Italian Cardinal Carlo Maria Martini has described the Roman Catholic Church as being “200 years behind” the times.

The cardinal died on Friday, aged 85.

Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera has published his last interview, recorded in August, in which he said: “The Church is tired… our prayer rooms are empty.”

Martini, once tipped as a future pope, urged the Church to recognise its errors and to embark on a radical path of change, beginning with the Pope.

Cardinal Martini
Thousands of people have been filing past his coffin at Milan’s cathedral, where he was archbishop for more than 20 years.

The cardinal, who had retired from the post in 2002, suffering from Parkinson’s Disease, is to be buried on Monday.

‘Old culture’

Martini, a popular figure with liberal stances on many issues, commanded great respect from both Pope John Paul II and his successor Pope Benedict XVI.

The cardinal – a member of the Jesuit religious order – was often critical in his writings and comments on Church teaching, says the BBC’s David Willey in Rome.

He was a courageous and outspoken figure during the years he headed Europe’s largest Catholic diocese, our correspondent says.

Cardinal Martini gave his last interview to a fellow Jesuit priest, Georg Sporschill, and to a journalist at the beginning of August when he knew his death was approaching.

The cardinal had returned to Italy from Jerusalem, where he had settled on retirement in 2002 to continue his biblical studies.

Catholics lacked confidence in the Church, he said in the interview. “Our culture has grown old, our churches are big and empty and the church bureaucracy rises up, our religious rites and the vestments we wear are pompous.”

Unless the Church adopted a more generous attitude towards divorced persons, it will lose the allegiance of future generations, the cardinal added. The question, he said, is not whether divorced couples can receive holy communion, but how the Church can help complex family situations.

And the advice he leaves behind to conquer the tiredness of the Church was a “radical transformation, beginning with the Pope and his bishops”.

“The child sex scandals oblige us to undertake a journey of transformation,” Cardinal Martini says, referring to the child sex abuse that has rocked the Catholic Church in the past few years.

He was not afraid, our correspondent adds, to speak his mind on matters that the Vatican sometimes considered taboo, including the use of condoms to fight Aids and the role of women in the Church.

In 2008, for example, he criticised the Church’s prohibition of birth control, saying the stance had likely driven many faithful away, and publicly stated in 2006 that condoms could “in some situations, be a lesser evil”.

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

Tom Rastrelli: Priests who lie; the dilemma of sexual orientation and the priesthood

People don’t expect their priests and bishops to lie, but as Michelangelo Signorile’s recent post illustrated, clerics do lie. Some even make a virtue of it. I know this from experience, for I was ordained a Catholic priest on a lie.

In spring 2002 I walked with my spiritual director along the blacktop road encircling the seminary. He’d been my confessor and guide for two years, helping me discern God’s presence in all aspects of my life, intimate and mundane. Over our heads, a canopy of newborn leaves rustled in a sunny breeze, a welcome relief from the bitter fog that had engulfed the church and my vocational surety.

For the previous two months an unprecedented number of bishops and priests, starting with Cardinal Law of Boston, had fallen from grace for participation in the sexual abuse of children and the ensuing cover-up. Their duplicity was palpable in my knotted back and abdomen. In a few months I’d be ordained a priest. I didn’t want to do so on a lie.

“I’m coming out of the closet,” I said.

My spiritual director loosened his clerical collar and lit a cigarette. “Where’s this coming from?” he asked. A couple of chattering wrens whooshed past.

I backtracked through six years of seminary formation. At events I had hobnobbed with supposedly holy men, some of whom had been harboring pedophiles. A few had done the deed themselves. By shaking their hands, mine were dirty. I knew the ecclesiology, how the bishops’ authority stemmed from a direct line to Jesus, but they were still criminals. Who were they to declare homosexuals “intrinsically depraved”?

When I’d applied for seminary, the director of seminarians — the priest who’d recruited me — explained that orientation didn’t matter, only celibacy. But on my intake interviews he’d told me to answer “yes” when the archdiocesan psychologist asked if I was attracted to women, and “no” when he asked if I was attracted to men. It was for the greater good, he said. Frightened of being cast out and ashamed of my true nature, I had lied as instructed.

In light of the sexual abuse scandal, lying about my orientation was no longer acceptable. I thought of what a gay friend who’d left seminary had said. His words became my own: “I don’t know if I can separate my private and public selves. Isn’t integration the goal of spiritual direction?”

“Of course it is,” my spiritual director said, more gravelly than usual. He stopped and turned to me. A tree cast a web of shadows over his face. His strawberry nose grew flushed, as he gestured with his hands. “Here’s the thing, Rastrelli. You have to ask yourself: Am I going to be a gay priest, or a priest” — he rolled his fingers and cigarette through the air like a barrel — “who happens to be gay?”

“What’s the difference?” I turned my head to inhale, trying to avoid his secondhand smoke. “Either way I’m gay. It’s a part of me.”

“But are you gay first, and then a priest? Or a priest first, and then gay?” He smiled, satisfied with the distinction.

“Both/and.” I’d hit him with what he’d taught me in class. “Both/and” was the paradoxical answer for every ultimate question in Catholic theology: Scripture or tradition? Faith or works? Is Jesus divine or human? Are we sinful or good? is faith a solo or communal experience?

“Touché,” he said. We walked. He sucked his cigarette. “You’re a smart guy, Rastrelli. Give it some thought.”

I kicked a pebble onto the grass. “I have. I don’t want to lie about my sexuality.”

“It’s not lying if those asking don’t have a right to the information.”

He hadn’t even flinched. I wanted to shake the nicotine from his bones, to scream, “It was that kind of thinking that landed the bishops in the papers!” Still, part of me wanted him to be right. Silence was simpler, easier, and maybe my need to come out was just pride at work. My promise of obedience demanded that I surrender my ego. My vocation was about God, not my orientation. But couldn’t we priests be honest with one another? I had to try.

“Gay Catholics don’t have positive role models,” I said. “I don’t know of a single gay priest that’s healthy. Do you?” I stopped. He kept walking. This was as close as I’d ever come to asking him if he was gay. I suspected he was. He’d lived with another priest for decades. They vacationed and picked out carpeting together. They spoke about their cat as if she were their child. Even if he and his housemate weren’t having sex, they were a couple. I stepped in stride with him. “How am I supposed to be an integrated gay priest when I have no one to look up to? How does celibacy actually work?” I stopped again. “I’m asking you.”

He turned to me. His face became whiter than a funeral pall. “I’m sorry, Rastrelli, but that’s not a conversation I’m comfortable having with a student.”

He resumed his pace. I followed silently.

The breeze picked up. The undulating trees sounded like the ocean breaking on the shore. I choked back the urge to ask, “Are you gay?” I felt like a sinking ship in a fleet that had wandered into a minefield. After laying the mines himself, the fleet commander had ordered radio silence.

I didn’t want to drown alone. I didn’t want to hear him lie. I wanted the truth, but the truth was dangerous. Were I to come out amid sexual-abuse headlines, homophobic Catholics wrongly blaming gay priests for the scandal would demand my dismissal.

My spiritual director was right. Who were they to judge, to put my orientation before my vocation? They had no right to that knowledge. It was safer to be a priest who happened to be gay. Perhaps it was God’s will. The fear accompanying us back to the seminary told me so.

That day, I learned the unspoken rule passed down through generations of priests: the doctrine of justification for lying by clergy. I went on to be ordained a priest. I preached that “the truth will set you free” while living in silence and shame. After a long journey and much pain, I came out. I left the priesthood, finally refusing to live the lies that I’d been taught to venerate.

Complete Article HERE!

Posted on

An American Nun Responds To Vatican Criticism

Sister Pat Farrell is the president of the Leadership Conference of Women Religious and the vice president of the Sisters of St. Francis in Dubuque, Iowa.

 

 

As an aside, the Sisters of St. Francis in Dubuque, Iowa were the spirit-filled women who formed me in grade school at St John Brebeuf Parish in Niles IL. God bless them all.